Mortality

   We all had a dream about life, it was a short dream, a dream that in reality lasted less than two hours, we blinked and we were gone. I always wondered about if I die tomorrow, what would be the legacy I will leaving? I don't know, I know our existence is erased from the collective consciousness in around 100 years. 200 years if we have an exception life and the resource to fulfill an economical legacy. The what we do today has repercussions on a long term,

    We do not know what the tomorrow will bring, and when our last day will but we can live every day as if it was the last one, to live it fully and to be happy that even if is there isn't any mythical purpose for our existence we can implement compassion in other people and animals, without expecting anything back, think of the power of connection and what you can achieve "even if you don't have a physical legacy, you can change people, you can influence your communities and after that a bigger change will come, because is not about the money but how we are all interlocked"

    I have surgery of my molars tomorrow, I am anxious because I have previous experience in hospitals that involved bad of parental care when I was younger, I get anxious even if is a day surgery and I know what to do to recover, I have my hours to skip work for 7 days and don't do anything heavy, but I fear the worse and that comes from years of repression and abuse that had channelized in to every time I go to a medical practice. I remember one day when I got one of the hepatitis vaccines and my mother out of nowhere when she was driving back with me, as I was underage "Nobody can't say anything because you are vaccinated" the words always stuck with me and even after 1\3 years of leaving and not going to Cartagena, I still remember the location.

    Words have power, they transcend time and even when is been over 20 years since that moment, I still remember it and is one of the many, I am scare of tomorrow because even with insurance I can't linger the image what I associate health care with. I hope I will be OK, I know I shouldn't be scared, but still...