Friday, March 26, 2021

Old Memories

I haven't wrote in a while, but again I feel the necessity as my others skills had come back, on a similar level  reading has been another that has come back at the same time as the one mentioned before as well illustration and continue pursuing my education which I start again in the next up coming week.

That little advertisement/ page holder is from an old book store in Cartagena - Colombia that was present when I used to live there, the name was Bitacora and everything that is left at least online is just an old Angelfire page that I opted to save because there aren't any visual media saved from 15 years ago online, and after the fa├žade of the last location that I ever visited 14 years ago, is completely different and it seems that it closed a long time ago.

Bitacora was located in San Martin Avenue, on the last two incarnation that I remember, the two buildings are still there, and it was always close to the sea - it was a magical place for me, because I could escape whenever school was done for the day but also during the holidays since I was always happy back then being surrounded by books.

The place I always remember it that it was cold, the air conditioner was always on but it was pleasant - it had a rustic interior that give it some Caribean vibes but also a portal that was open for a world of magic in an enviroment that was already somewhat surreal, I always enjoyed going there because it was an experience for the senses but also an escape from the house and a moment where I could refresh from the heat and get a new book.

I didn't found a library when I move to the States that I enjoy myself but for a long time I was also trying to recover the pieces of who I was (in a value that could give something meaningful) to who I had grown in to, albeit now in a new city I had spotted several smaller libraries that are in a similar vibe as Bitacora and they inspire me to continue reading and buying books, but for 9 years I didn't read anything besides when I tried to go to school but not out of leisure or by interest without any responsibility.

I do not know what I am going to do with this blog or the others I have, I need to find more topics to write or essentially to write about nothing. I had recover my love for photography and illustration, but as well to improve my knowledge which were aspects of my core I didn't tackle for almost a decade because I couldn't relate to them or feel them as I used to. My motivation to do arts was related to my feelings of loneliness and desperation and having to find a new point that didn't involved sorrow or any other emotion but rather more related to my core.

The process of recovering was ardeous, I know I am more in touch with my emotions, to who I am without being part of a family but rather my own self, without any pretension that were influenced by someone else through the use of force. That little page holder from Bitacora brought me memories because after being shun by my parents and losing a lot of personal items a simple item in paper brought me joy when I found it again.

A simple item that made me realize, the happy places can change over time but the happiness comes within, and that was what Bitacora meant to me and still does, only that the physical place is not there anymore but it's within my memories. I am still thinking what I can do with my blogs, what direction I want to take them, my other products as well, I do not feel I lost the time where I wasn't active but rather it was a moment in time where I could take care of myself and let the creativity and my true art to flow without restrictions.