This has been the hobby I had taken the longest to recover, my blog, my writing, the first thing that ever made me happy; I been happy again with my hobbies and they usually involve audiovisual but writting is the one that has taken me the longest to recover. A while ago I started to write more throughly and thoughtfully, quality over quantitty which it reached me better and same is applied to my photos and illustrations which is better to do something that is deeply personal and meanigful than to lose yourself within the mass commercial market.
During the last six months I've been back in somewhat of the instructional side of education as a substitute and a paraprofessional and my goal still the same, I will get my own classroom one day, working within the academics side has fullfilled once that void that I felt it was a darkness that I wasn't comfortable with, a void in which I couldn't find myself, why I said that phrase? Because as humans we have to be at peace even within the void in our personalities, is an inherent side of humanity and I am peace with that now.
Being creative is an essential part of my persona and working in that academic side has helped me to reconnect with that creativity but it took certain steps to work in the parts that were missing which were the literacy ones. Since we are moving out and it will be more restrictive with my connectivity since will be in the countryside, I thought that it would be an enjoyable time to start writing again and postpone videos until we get a booster and the Internet lines go to the county we are moving it make me think maybe I should restart the idea of getting published and finish my manuscripts.
Writing is always my first joy, it helped me to communicate and I extend it to the blog which became a release when I need it to speak during the moments I was being silenced but I lost it the moment I wasn't being silenced by anyone but by my own self, part of maturing as a writer and as a creative person in general is to understand the environment mold us, but also that we are our own personas, of course nobody can't let us dictate on how to live our lives that's up to us and is up to us if we see beyond the veil of madness.
The world needs art and I don't know on what generation artist will have a comfortable living, in the meantime we need to keep expressing ourselves because we need art, art is a tool of communication and a tool to reach people, art itself is language and language is art. I am probably going to write more often, mostly one article every month minimum, one entry every two weeks, mostly whenever I am off from school and from work which at this moment they have become one and the same.
I can't shoo your darkness away, nobody can't, is you only who can work through it, much like I did with mine. We can't change the world, we can help reaching one person at a time. I know the family isn't perfect, far from perfect or even remotly ideally accepting but there are people there who can listen and they are nice to speak with too because is always good to have someone who we know for a long time.
People change, sometimes is hard to accept after any sense of agression, sometimes some people don't change and we have to accept that, we need to accept that a lot of times we are not going to see them again and know the wound can open sometimes and will never close.
I will write something later, it just feels better to have written something that is not for work or school after a while.