Saturday, May 23, 2015

5 Foods that Will Make you Hornier

(5/20/2015) Tampa, Fl --- Hello my beautiful shilldren from the Banned Kingdom, we'd all seen so many list from the kinds of food you shouldn't eat or why Mountain Dew is the drink of the devil. My shilldren there is a big secret from Big Food is hiding from you - You can't get horny and have a very satisfying sexual dinner course just by going to McDonalds or going to the snack aisle on your supermarket -

1. Japanese Cucumber That is Larger than A Dildo: Who said GMO's were bad never saw a 15 inches Japanese Cuke that is larger than a conventional dildo. We can all thanks Monsanto for this sexy monstrosity because let's face it besides Godzilla this will be the only large thing to come from Japan that will satisfy any lonely men or women who has a taste for Asian "cuisine."

2. Nutella Will Enlarge Your Penis: Nutella is such a fantastical desert and is almost afrodisiac as well an amazing laxative, but did you knew that eating Nutella can help you to enlarge your penis.? Yes, this fantastic discovery was kept secret for many years as if you insert your virile member inside a jar of this delicious creamy chocolate it will magically grown twice in weight and height.

Not only that but when you mix it with strawberries or bananas it will work better than Viagra in almost any male with erectile dysfunction.

3. Monsanto Eggplants: For the ladies who are alone and horny we have to say forget the cucumbers and go for the eggplant. For the guys who are a bottom, also switch to the eggplant. The risk of using this Monsanto Eggplant (tm) is that you probably would develop paranoia, psychosis and you probably will start following pages as Natural News, March Against Monsanto and Modern Alternative Mama in order to satisfy your intellectual needs and feel shame for using a GMO fruit in order to satisfy your hunger and other unhealthy appetites.

This eggplant can be found on any supermarket and is cheaper than the alternative version found in Whole Foods because let's face it you won't be satisfy with something tiny and expensive that you thought it could be fancy but at the end you realize it bragged more than what it could do.

4. McFuking Flurry: The ultimate GMO aphrodisiac filled with sexy trans-fat all flavored with delicious fake chocolate or any fruit of your preferences. Without a doubt the McFlurry because of the high content in fats and sugar will make you want to jump over your lover as soon as you had finished taking a poop on the bathroom or hand wash stall if you are at McDonald's.

5. Anything from Taco Bell: Do I need to say more on why Taco Bell is sexy.? Look at their products they look as big beefy penises.!