Monday, September 2, 2013

Gus Rules for Facebook or 21 Simple Rules to Date my Teenage Daughter

Tampa, (Fl) --- It seems people are obsessed with the idea of sharing everything up to the point they are going into the extremes of exhibitionism because they are craving for attention yet when attention comes that is another story.

So here are my commandments at the moment of using Facebook:

1) Never ever leave anything written about work in Facebook or blog without covering your credentials because those are pieces of information that you are going to regret later.   

2) You will look ridicule when you try to express that you have a perfect relationship by not knowing the meaning of personal space as well self-respect. You don't measure happiness of level of communication through 100 posts of Facebook saying she or he are the most perfect beings in the universe; no one is perfect and no one gives a crap about your perfect being or you, because you keep making the ridicule of yourself.

3) You will look like a fool when you hit the like button and leave more than 100 comments on every photo your better half leaves. If you want to improve communication don't do it on Facebook, share a moment together.

4)  You will look like an idiot every time you place a status update about your day, every ten minutes. No one will care if you are having a bad day, a good day or anything else or if you are taking a shit in the forest.

5) No one will care any issue between you and your thousand baby-daddies or baby-mamma's. Don't put that frustration on Facebook because you will look like a loser and leave that frustration to a judge or your lawyer.

6) Value your privacy as your ultimate treasure because your "friends" hate you anyway and they are waiting to see you fail. That's why they add you on Facebook.

7) No one will care about your happiness except you. Facebook will care about collecting your data and your thousand friends will care about seeing you in despair.

8) One share equals a hundred prayers for a cancerous baby who is already dead by now or a tragedy that happened and killed millions, won't solve anything when you only share a photo.

9) No one cares about stupid teen quotes when you are over 12, first you are not a teen, second teens are idiots and third those quotes are not made by teens but by a machinery of marketing genius to catch data for the latest selling trends.  

10) If you are complaining about the president on a Facebook group thinking that will create change, try writing a letter to your congressman or organize a protest.

11) Candy Crush will make you diabetic and FarmVille will only annoy your contacts.

12) Everything that is written online can backlash to you, see rule number one.

13) Act according your age and never be a fool.

14) Proselytism and doing free advertisement for your work place or church are not very different from what Hugo Chavez did to his people.

15) If you try to get a hook up on Facebook by liking a porn actress then you are doing something wrong.

16) Selfies photos on the bathroom can be disgusting and if I ever go to your houses I won't use your bathrooms because I see how "clean" the mirrors are.

17) Gangsta photos are lame such as duck face photos.

18) Whenever your ego will rise because you keep boosting it, it will crash and people will be there to see you suffer with your own humiliation because of a mere product of your inflated ego

21) Facebook is not as worse as real life, because there are thousands of websites with mugshots.