Thursday, June 6, 2013

My Existential Doubt as a LGTBQ

Jesus, Beyond Colors He was Fab
Tampa, (Fl) --- Let's face it Jesus was fabulous but his later fan club became much as the first "Belibers" and that's probably the reason in a shallow way that I can be a follower of any doctrine that will put holds on my life; in essence I am a Humanist who doesn't deny but try to look different verses of realities because every person is a unique world and we every head is not the same even if we are all equal we are just a micro-cosmos inside a planet.

There are some man contradictions around the different Abrahamic doctrines that is just annoying to tr to follow up and patch it up; my doubt comes from the very essence on why the ones who preach have to look good and the ones who parish to the churches have to give their dime and yet look more raggedy than their pastors or priest.? That's where my doubt comes from, the inequality that extents to different branches of the different doctrines and yet can not find a middle point to create a just and honest message that don't involve money.

From that point I started to follow the trajectory of the different missions of the Vatican as well Mother Theresa, and what I found was a bunch of opportunist who preach poverty and yet live way better than to the ones who preach; why they focus so much on Africa as well third developed countries in order to create an impact.? The answer is simple because they need to generate pity through their image, ad sentiment paradox where the victimaire is the victim of their own PR stint to improve their image because otherwise how are they going to pay their own strategies,? by using someone else money to spread the proselytism.

Then with proselytism comes political interest that go according to the executor of the doctrine because a man or woman with charisma can move a mass toward their own interest and in the person has power in the community then he can focus on his own benefits to block any law that will promote equality, my existential doubt comes on that way, the way where one part of the dogma can be adjusted for a few but not for everyone, my existential doubt comes from the disparity, even if I don't believe I always admire the message of love.

Then part of my doubt develops on why some people who are believers yet are sinners will go to heaven even if they cheat on the wives as my cousin Carlos yet others who are in committed relations will go to hell only because the sexual orientation collides with the so called doctrine.? I call it as bullshit, and that part of the doubt came with a conversation with my parents where my cousin was being put in a high place even if he cheated before and after but according to my parents philosophy is OK because he takes care of his children so my parents are OK with a babydaddy but not someone who the same sex who is having a stady relationship because it goes against God; so I wished to say mum dad so adultery so stop being biased but yet they won't and so as they a lot of people are as that, that they will accommodate their ideology to their own interests.

Do I believe in God.? Do I believe in the Christian doctrine.? No, I don't, I don't believe in organized religion as a whole because of the double edge it represents in terms of equality; I believe in fair trade to your fellow men and woman, I believe that you don't need a leader of power to tell you what is bad or wrong, I believe that if you give back to society as the way society as give it to you if you know how to find the opportunities you can create a difference; do I believe in a God,? Not in one that is OK to mistreat people for who they are.